Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Love in its Purest Form

 My new life brings me new and greater rewards each day, but none can be greater than the bond that Teddy and I are building.  Here he is yesterday morning st the bus stop rocks.  Just after I took this photo, he got up and said, I should sit on that rock. It was pretty round on the top and as I sat down, I began to lean toward the left to balance myself. Immediately, Teddy came around and sat next to me and said "If you fall, Nana, you can fall on me and I will save you.  Amazing little loving moments like these are filling my days with such wonderful purpose and love.
 Of course, we have numerous typical 5 year old tired-after-a-long-day-at-school moments, too, and last night was one of those. He had no intention of doing anything he was asked, and was beginning to :go bad" pretty fast, so as I saw the pink glow in the early evening sky, I suggested we go hunt for the sunset. Off we went down the street toward the canal, the glow becoming more pinky-orange, the closer we got to the water. He was still a little testy, but game to find the sun before it slipped below the horizon.
AHA!  A successful hunt, and we were rewarded with this beautiful view.  The "mood" was still lurking, and it was announced that he now had developed a very bad knee, affected limp and all, and Nana would have to carry him home! NOT about to happen!!  We slowly made our way back, both of us limping. Strangely, as we approached home, his knee became miraculously cured. Wish it were that easy for me.....I'll have to wait for the knee replacement in February. 
Anyway, we did cure some of the grouch and he slept soundly through the night.

My days are so very full right now, and I just love being retired. Already, I have been in my new home a month and love it so far. My days are pretty full with various appointments. My list of "must-do's has grown a lot shorter.  So many things had been put off and now, I have so many chores behind me. My eyes have been examined and I have two lovely new pairs of glasses....bifocal clear and sunglasses!!  I'm lined up for a colonoscopy next week, and also about to have a nasty bleeding tumor removed from my foot two weeks from today.
I've also caught up with and visited many friends from years ago when I lived in this area. 

My campaign to get strong and more fit is going along well, too. I began aqua aerobics last week and love it, and I am wearing my FitBit daily to record my steps, aerobic exercise, and many other health related improvements.  It is making a world of difference and giving me great encouragement.

LM and I have found that we are appreciating each other a lot more, and our weekends at his place with Ms G are much more relaxed as I am less stressed.  

Tonight, I began to pull out my sewing and quilting supplies and am slowly working toward a return to creativity.....feels so good.

In the meantime, I have also visited the beautiful local senior center and signed up to volunteer a few hours a week, as well as take exercise classes on the days I do not go to the pool program.  Tomorrow, I will meet with the director to discuss where my skills would best fit at the center....that will help improve my community base and make new friends.

Many of you who have been reading Ms Graysea for a lot of years, know, I was very, very obsessed and worried about what would happen to me when I could no longer work. I literally spent years of sleepless nights, and endless hours debating with others about my options. It was AWFUL, and here I am with this dream of a new life which allows me to be a third parent/helper and use the skills I wish I had when my children were young, and to be rewarded with more love and better health than ever.
It took jumping over a huge mountain of fear, but bad knee and all, I made the leap and landed in the softest most beautiful place.

Love and peace to all!!
and.....because it is almost Wacky Wednesday, I leave you with yet more Ms G porn.....she is staring at her beloved LM, of course, and she sends special thanks to her Aunt Nan, who visited from Saratoga Springs last weekend and brought her some soft toys that she has been having such fun carrying around and luring us to play fetch. It would seem Ms G spends most of her life on her back, but she is one very active girl. She is forever running around chirping, chasing toys, jumping up and down off furniture, and she is especially busy waking LM with loud yelling every morning at about 5!


Sunday, August 31, 2014


On the day I moved to my new home, everything went beautifully, calmly and quickly, EXCEPT for a disaster of epic proportions requiring me to replace my entire bed....there is no way to describe how much I loved that bed....my haven, always welcoming me to its place of healing and luxurious comfort. After son Jason, friend Jake, and LM got all my belongings in to my new space, we had to hurry off to the bedding store so I could quickly choose from the paltry items they had in stock, in order for me to have a place to sleep that night.  Barely clinging to my sanity, I tenaciously held all the pain in my throat as I followed Jason in his truck.  Ever alert to the natural world for a place of solace, I spotted the signs for Lyman Reserve along the way, and thought, aha, a place to heal. I had been imaging long walks in a wooded setting as a way to soothe my soul as I settle in to my new life. Lyman Reserve has been just the place to heal, discover and energize!  We've (LM and I) already walked one half, and to our delight, it took us to a lovely salt-water bay that we already knew well from the other side.  The photo above shows the house on the site, that belonged for so many generations in the Lyman family as a "camp" for fishing trips.  It has beautiful Georgian lines and we look forward to an open-house inside in November of this year!
A lovely old barn and out-buildings at the left rear of the house. The front is adorned with quite a nice collection of birdhouses.
The view from the back of the house
Behind the barn is a little brackish pond
At my first glance down the trail behind the barn, tears of joy filled my eyes, as this was just what my healing mind needed.
Hmmmmm....who lives in there??

The warm sun created the most beautifully scented pathway to the bay.

Scalloped mushrooms!
Coming to the bay
Tis the season for rose hips
Some lingering rosa rugosa added their lovely scent to the sea-scented air.

As we walked around the point to make our return, we had this lovely view back to the path.
Lovely lichen....heralding, dare I say, Fall.
Back to the path....all ours on this beautiful day. We will most certainly be back to walk the rest of the trails in this most special place.

Property History

Named for water tinted red by the iron-rich soil near its source, Red Brook has been used by humans for nearly two millennia. Archaeological studies indicate that the area was an important encampment for Wampanoags some 1,800 years ago. Those who camped at Red Brook used clay cooking pots, sharpened stone blades, and ate seafood, deer meat, and other game.

European settlers had different uses for the land. Pitch pine was processed into tar, herring and alewife were caught during their spring runs, and bogs were mined for iron ore then planted with cranberries. The land was finally settled by Uriah Nickerson in the 1830s. The Lyman house, located across the street from the parking lot, was built in 1840 by the Nickerson family.

The Theodore Lyman Reserve honors the naturalist who, in 1867, first experienced Red Brook during a site visit for the Massachusetts Board of Inland Fisheries. For the next 30 years, Theodore Lyman III (1833 – 1897) worked to protect Red Brook by purchasing parcels of land on both sides from source to mouth. He eventually acquired a total of 638 acres, and for six generations the Lyman family used the area as a fishing camp, drawn by the “salters” that still run this course. In 2001, the Lyman family generously donated the entire Red Brook property to ensure its protection in perpetuity.

Lyman’s legacy is preserved in the form of the 638-acre Red Brook Reserve, which is comprised of the 210-acre Trustees reservation, and the 428-acre Red Brook Wildlife Management Area, supervised by the Mass. Division of Fisheries and Wildlife. Management for the entire reserve is overseen by The Trustees, Mass DFW, and our conservation partner, Trout Unlimited.

Property Acquisition History
Gift of the Lyman family in 2001.

Thanks for joining us on this special afternoon.....we have been having such fun exploring new places to walk and soothe our souls. And, by the way, I did find a new bed that day, and after a few nights being "Princess and the Pea" (believe me, I heartily mumbled and complained about how it could never compare with its predecessor).......I now love the new set-up and look forward to my nights.

Sending you love and peace!!

Monday, August 25, 2014

Drama in the Skies

There's been a lot of drama in our Ms G world lately, what with retirement, and move to totally different circumstances, so returning to my usual schedule of spending weekends with LM and Ms G, last Friday was heavenly!  We were up to all our familiar exploits.....foraging for fresh local food,  laughing and cooking together, and our usual trip to the beach to check out the status of possible fishing spots.  As we left the house on Saturday evening about 6:45 we noticed the sky to the east as black as night, while the sun was still shining to the west.  We kept exclaiming about the sky as we drove to the beach and no sooner said we bet there would be a rainbow, than there it was.
 The water appeared at once green and very yellow

 The other end of the rainbow...

 Sunset created a whole new effect as we headed west to the end of the beach by Bass River.
 We expected to see Mars or Zeus come rolling out of the heavens in their chariots....

 Weather drama at its best.

Hope your weekend was as exciting!!

Saturday, August 16, 2014


I started this post a few days after the move but just haven't had time to send it off to you. 
Good Morning from my new home!!
Just wanted to stop by after such a long absence, to tell you that the move went beautifully, and I am settling in, with a lot of help.  Teddy made this sign to welcome me on Sunday.
LM and I went to an outdoor waterfront cafe on the night before the move, and shared some time of reflection along with out lobster rolls
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Among the cutest moving day helpers, was the coordinator of my shoes. Each day he stops in to check that they are perfectly positioned in the closet.

My own personal interior decorator arrived to help unpack and arrange my bedroom into a beautiful haven....putting away my incredible collection of cat socks, here!

My sweet new bookcase was perfectly assembled by LM and filled decorously by Sue and Teddy.

My Nana's did the needlepoint on this sweet chair.
My sitting room in the early stages of arrangement.
My bed, ready to become my new haven.
The incredibly loving and helpful LM setting the table on the deck for dinner. 

With almost a week here now, I am feeling more settled each day, but also experiencing a wide range of emotions.  Today is a teary and tired day and I am laying low until LM arrives. We are scheduled to walk at a waterfront park and have dinner out this evening. It is so strange to feel like something major has changed between us (it hasn't really) and to feel terribly lonely amidst people I love so much.  Moving and retirement carry the reputation of throwing one off-kilter, so I will just roll with things and continue floating along.  This week I had several nice reunions who now live near me again, and I have a party/reunion with a nice group of women I worked with, to enjoy.

Being with Teddy each day is a joy. He has quite a range of moods but our times alone are very special and sweet.

Love and peace!!

Monday, July 28, 2014

The Beast and the Beauty

My very own beast visited me Friday night, all night, keeping me awake, planting and projecting in my exhausted head.  The weedy scenarios were so painful, as to choke me. I paced, I struggled with cramps in my legs and feet, and my attempts at meditation were fraught with road blocks.  The morning ahead was to be an early one, as my car was packed tightly with belongings to go to my new home. The beast was undone when I donned my "cape of bravery" and began to fly over all the fear.  I just went forward as though the day would be full of beauty and it was!!  No heavy traffic to delay my drive, Jason, Alison and Teddy were there to quickly unload my car and bring things up to my new rooms.  Alison had painted my bedroom walls with beautiful Benjamin Moore "Constellation" paint and I loved it so much my eyes filled up. My sitting room was really crammed with things previously moved and we made short work of moving some to their storage area, and then I was able to move all my boxes of quilting fabric, knitting, and beading supplies in to a small closet.  All of a sudden order seemed to return and I could feel the last of the beast leave my soul.  I may meet up with him again, but I know enough to put on my cape and fly away.  Amidst all the work we did, were delightful little conversations with Teddy. He is such a joy. These days he is obsessed with the Audubon Eastern bird book ( a gift I gave to his father many years ago). He brought me the book to show me his current favorite, the downy woodpecker, and we had a great conversation about my favorite, the flicker.  Alison and I chatted about various ways to deal with the schedule once I move in, and how I can help out with Teddy. Shortly, I was on my way to spend the rest of the weekend with my beloved LM. We washed and hung out sheets to dry, and then took a walk in a lovely conservation area....yes, bad knee and all, I put on my cape again and we were off. My cane was very helpful, too, and it felt so good to get my heart rate up. We shared some blissful moments, standing still in the deep woods, listening to the wind in the trees and tracking some elusive birds.  HEALING.....I was able to take off my "cape" for awhile and just be me - one with nature and my love - Beauty all around.
This morning launches my very last week of working. It seems a surreal place and I want to make the most of my time left  with individual work friends who have made each day wonderful in so many ways.
The reality of retiring and changing my living situation so drastically in less than 10 days is still sinking in, but still feeling right. It seems the only safe way to navigate these waters is to stay carefully in the moment, as I have mentioned before. If I veer, the beast arises and tries to direct me off course to the shoals. I will keep you posted.

Remaining ever grateful for all the support and encouragement as I pass through these waters.
Love and peace to all!

PS. I have a new little camera and will get some pictures soon of my new room and other surroundings. Gave my old camera to LM as he dropped his in the water to its death!

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Good-Byes and Good Buys

Six days and counting until retirement!! As the days pass, they become more and more filled with good-byes, love, and tears.  It remains a happy time, with promise and new frontiers to be explored. My job has brought a lot of fulfillment, friendship, and fun for 10.5 years, and I'm thinking the future will bring me much more of the same, as I climb up and over the little bit of fear that comes along with moving to a new place. If allowed, my mind goes to what will be, and I am trying to stay in each day and allow surprise at all the little miracles that come from being present in what is. There is shakiness at times, and sleep can be evasive, reading and trying to solve questions that arise from doubt seem to get me back on track.

Meanwhile, there are parties to attend, gathering with friends, and individual celebrations beginning to fill my calendar. So nice that this all comes amidst the beauty that is Cape Cod in July.  On Saturday, I will go to my new town and make arrangements for my new Post Office box, and to deliver some good-buys to my new home.  I found a great new ceiling fan and a beautiful bookcase (pale seafoam blue/green) for my new bedroom, and I will also be dropping off my new bed pillows. Finding some I like is a cause celebre in itself!

Speaking of my new bookcase, it is not large for a very good reason. I adore books and paring down my collections has been a major part of my move.   Among my favorites, and the keepers that will adorn my new bookcase, are many books on the natural world and history of Cape Cod, with many first editions written by friends. Also on the new shelves will be a small part of my vast collection of cat books...of course, I have a collection of cat books....my favorite creatures. Last but not least my Mary Oliver poetry books....food for my soul.

From my changing world, I wish you much peace, beautiful summer days and love.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Happy Thursday....I am here amidst retiring, moving, coping with a cold and allergies, and all the emotions that accompany this time.....so many good-byes each day!

A trip to my new home to drop off a car filled with part of my life....one more step in the process, made so sweet by a very warm Teddy welcome, makes me know I have chosen the right path.

Beauty is everywhere right now:

Super Moon

Back soon when there is more time to write.

Love and peace!!