Thursday, July 24, 2014

Good-Byes and Good Buys

Six days and counting until retirement!! As the days pass, they become more and more filled with good-byes, love, and tears.  It remains a happy time, with promise and new frontiers to be explored. My job has brought a lot of fulfillment, friendship, and fun for 10.5 years, and I'm thinking the future will bring me much more of the same, as I climb up and over the little bit of fear that comes along with moving to a new place. If allowed, my mind goes to what will be, and I am trying to stay in each day and allow surprise at all the little miracles that come from being present in what is. There is shakiness at times, and sleep can be evasive, reading and trying to solve questions that arise from doubt seem to get me back on track.

Meanwhile, there are parties to attend, gathering with friends, and individual celebrations beginning to fill my calendar. So nice that this all comes amidst the beauty that is Cape Cod in July.  On Saturday, I will go to my new town and make arrangements for my new Post Office box, and to deliver some good-buys to my new home.  I found a great new ceiling fan and a beautiful bookcase (pale seafoam blue/green) for my new bedroom, and I will also be dropping off my new bed pillows. Finding some I like is a cause celebre in itself!

Speaking of my new bookcase, it is not large for a very good reason. I adore books and paring down my collections has been a major part of my move.   Among my favorites, and the keepers that will adorn my new bookcase, are many books on the natural world and history of Cape Cod, with many first editions written by friends. Also on the new shelves will be a small part of my vast collection of cat books...of course, I have a collection of cat favorite creatures. Last but not least my Mary Oliver poetry for my soul.

From my changing world, I wish you much peace, beautiful summer days and love.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Happy Thursday....I am here amidst retiring, moving, coping with a cold and allergies, and all the emotions that accompany this many good-byes each day!

A trip to my new home to drop off a car filled with part of my more step in the process, made so sweet by a very warm Teddy welcome, makes me know I have chosen the right path.

Beauty is everywhere right now:

Super Moon

Back soon when there is more time to write.

Love and peace!!

Thursday, July 10, 2014


With my beloved Nana.......1944......Margaret Ethel Morse

She taught me to sew, cook, iron, appreciate the arts, the beauty of nature, and to stay calm through any storm.  Nana's was a genteel life - garden parties, card parties and dressing up, yet she dealt daily with the realities of farm life, and enduring no matter what. She made the best pot roast in the world in her cast iron dutch oven, and she entertained me for countless hours with complicated card games.  She sang, Home, Home on the Range with my friends, and she LOVED Johnny Cash.She was the loving "other" parent to go to when our house with 7 children next door, became a bit much for my mother.

We took countless trips to Boston to visit the beautiful department stores, museums, see plays, have sundaes at Bailey's, visit the Public Gardens, ride the swan boats, and made delicious picnics for out annual trips to Provincetown.

Nana fed the multitudes of feral cats that lived on our farm, and she instilled my soul with family history and her beautiful memories of growing up over her father's hardware store in Philadelphia.

She encouraged me to always put my best foot forward and look my best each day. She let me take naps in her beautiful bedroom with the flowered wallpaper, windows open with the scent of roses and towering privet hedge drifting through my dreams. There I felt so safe and loved, always.

Thank you, Nana, I loved you beyond belief and that love grows each day. Now, I am Nana to many, and will be having the chance to pass on what you gave me, to my beloved Teddy, as I move to "his" house very soon. May I be a fraction of what you were and are to me!! 

*Throwback Thursday

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Post Arthur

Arthur paid us a visit for a little under a day. He arrived following many days of heavy, dark, oppressive air and soggy nights. I had decided not to install my AC unit because I am moving so soon...last week proved that to be a not so smart decision. Nonetheless, I survived to enjoy the glorious cool, clear, breezy weather left behind by Arthur.
The storm did take down a very old and beautiful tree near my house, and with it came two phone poles and part of another tree.  When I woke the morning after the storm, there was no power and it was out for a day while many different utility companies were filling the street and making the repairs. That all made for extremely heavy traffic as we are in peak season with visitors to our beautiful town.

A happy reunion took place on Saturday at Jason and Alison's house and I was together with 3 of my grandchildren for the first time in many years. It was a day of many emotions, much joy, and regrets that time did not allow individual private visits with these wonderful grandchildren.

Evening found us back at LM's and the Golden Hour came just as we set out to visit the beach for sunset and a bit of fishing.  My new header was taken under a lovely tree in LM's front garden along the street. The light was just perfect and as I stood there enveloped in the glow, healing began to fill my soul.  Nature is always the answer, but its nourishment doesn't stay by me long these days, making constant replenishment an exhausting process. I'm tired, somewhat sad, and my energy and endurance are at an all-time low...The move will be on August 10. Meanwhile I am still working full-time, battling killer allergies, and other health challenges. Honesty is where it is right now with this life change, and somedays it isn't pretty.  I am struggling right now with going to work as I was up most of the night with sneezing, headache and nosebleeds.

One foot in front of the other, I am seeking out healing beauty....the first glow of sunshine is coming through the trees in its golden cloak, and a flicker is banging on the loud as he is, I welcome his presence as an alarm clock and a beautiful creation.

As I sit here finishing my morning iced tea with lemon, I wish you all a wonderful summer day.

Hope you all had a lovely fourth celebration!

Love and peace!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Painting Staff and Updates

Happy Friday!!

Thought you all might like to have a little update on my retirement/moving status.  I am at the end of the first week of my last 6 weeks of work!  For a few years I thought I would be in a huge panic about leaving this beloved job, but I only feel myself straining at the reins to be free and on to creating an entirely new life.  There is nostalgia about all the wonderful years in the design/build field, and how it sparked my creativity and self-worth, and those memories will sustain me as I go forward, confident that whatever comes next will be wonderful and just as enriching.
Excitement is building and also the pace. My current house feels so hollow and is filled with echoes. Nice echoes....the nest of safety it gave Ms G and me when I needed it so badly in 2004, the family dinners, and best of all when it welcomed LM.

This weekend is our huge yard sale and we couldn't be happier with the weather forecast. So lovely.

Jason and Alison had to hire a painter to get my new bedroom ready!! He is quite efficient and I believe he has already finished the work. I will see it tonight. He's a pretty cute helper, too, and my new bedroom will feel even more welcoming, knowing it was made so beautiful by my darling, Teddy.

Teddy will be my new  neighbor across the hall, and I am sure we are going to have a lot of fun and get into mischief together!

Love and peace to all!

Friday, June 20, 2014

Adventures on the Lupine Way

Two days ago, LM suggested I accompany him on a trip to Maine!  No urging was necessary, as Maine is one of my favorite places and a chance to enjoy its late Spring beauty was not to be missed. Our mission was to drive a very large truck to a small town a ways north of Augusta, AND to bring a 2014 neon green Mustang convertible back to Cape Cod. The trip up was beautiful as the Maine turnpike was lit up on both sides with masses of wild flowers. Most spectacular were the deep blue, pink and white lupines and the wild daisies amidst the buttercups and tiny wild iris. We didn't even mind several slow downs as it gave us more time to admire all the beauty.
 Green, green, green and buttercups
 A very large moose and a family of bears at a rest stop.
 This same scene was everywhere....

We finally arrived in Oakland, and made the switch to our ride home....I had not been in a convertible in many, many years and the feeling of the wind in my hair was so wonderful. We both felt like teenagers and with 50's music filling the air, we were back on the lupine highways to bring the mustang to its new owner in Chatham, but not before we stopped for seafood and some lobster stew.
Wind on my hair...
 The one who made it all possible and such fun, too!

Home......goodnight sweet chariot!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

All Better

Good news here - whatever hit me last week was completely gone in 4 days and I seem to have more energy than I've had in months.

Tomorrow, son, Jason, and LM's son, John, will arrive with a big truck and take away a goodly portion of my possessions, some marked for a yard sale, some for storage, and the rest for my new rooms at Jason's house. I will live with the bare necessities until I move in August. We had a rush on to get things moved as Jason is beginning a new job on July 1 and will have very little time.

Made a big move yesterday and scheduled an appointment with the surgeon to begin the process of knee replacement. People assure me it is easier than when I had my right knee replaced 8 years ago. I'm believing them, in an effort to gather the courage to travel the road toward full mobility again.

These days are filled with excitement at the possibilities ahead - I can choose to do whatever I like with my life, explore all sorts of new avenues, and the feeling of freedom is so exhilarating.  All the fear I'd lived with about retiring, moving, etc, is gone. I admit, there will be some tears in the change,  and I choose to think they will be tears of happiness!  I've a slight suspicion that LM is a bit apprehensive about this change in my life. He came to help me move several things this afternoon and I saw his face fall when he looked at all my possessions packed up and labeled awaiting the truck, and commented on how my place had changed. Really we will just be 12 miles further away from each other and the weekends will still be ours.

My 99 year old grandfather's last words to me were, "don't fight life, dear," and I am realizing just how much energy I've expended doing just that. Now is a time that I am embracing the changes and life!

Love to all.......