Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Celebrating it All

Preparations are in full swing, and everyone here seems to have Christmas in their heart.....LM, Teddy and I are off to drive a good friend to the airport this morning, and then we will come back to begin cooking our Christmas Eve dinner, for which, Sara and Samantha will join us....exciting times for the wee ones, and us, too.

Much love to all, and may your Christmas be exactly the way you would like.

Int he words of one of  my faves, celebrate it all and embrace the holidays, one and all, for whatever reason you like.

Love, peace and deep gratitude for you all this Christmas Eve.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Time Crunch

Ah, my dear and loyal readers, I am breaking the rules by starting off here with an apology for my silence here. I miss writing, and I miss my friends, but my enthusiasm is lost in my health challenges and responsibilities. Completely changing my life by retiring and moving, is taking me down some roads I never thought I'd travel.  Being quite responsible for 6 year old Teddy on a daily basis is an amazing privilege, but one that my body is not quite up to these days.  I never gave a second's thought to the fact that GRIEF would begin to consume me.  It was only today that I was able to define why I was crying, feeling very lonely, and experiencing severe exhaustion, when I am living in such a lovely place surrounded by loving family, and fairly free to do whatever I like each day, that I fully realized that I am suffering loss in many forms.  Add in the fact that dangerously high blood pressure, ulcers, and pain so piercing that I am nauseous, and the result is not a happy place.  Changing  meds to try to control this issues is mind boggling. The rush is on to fix things or my knee replacement surgery may be canceled in February. That is just about unthinkable to me right now.  I can only walk a few steps before staggering down or falling and the surgery has been a source of great hope. 
Grief and loss is a natural part of life when one has left work and a wonderful group of co-workers with whom one shared such camaraderie.  I've taken steps to increase my energy and centeredness. A personal trainer is putting me through some tough paces and I am talking with a counselor.  This too shall pass.
I'd been fighting the grief symptoms when I needed to go with them and embrace it as a natural life event.  We shall see how long I can keep my perspective.

Otherwise, we had a fun birthday party for Teddy last week, and are now looking forward to having a simple Christmas celebration centered around the children. 

Sending you all wishes for celebrations of your own choice to be filled with light, love, peace and joy.